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2012 Triathloscopes...

zodiacED. In addition to Astrology, Erika is also into Head-Bump-ology (we forget the official name of that one!), Plant Perception and a host of other totally cool pseudosciences.

by Erika Sperl-Imhoff

The new year brings all sorts of exciting things, including setting goals and making plans. But how much easier would it be to set those goals/make those plans if you had some insight from the stars? Before you get too far ahead of yourselves, here are your 2012 triathloscopes*.

Capricorn

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The Dishwasher Nazi...

jim/paulWARNING: This post may contain slight exaggerations.

(Photo L - Jim Felling with his arm around a guy with a hat and a beer.)

Going Off Course - Handsome, cool dude, River Falls Triathlete / Livestock management guy, Jim Felling, has had more girlfriends than Wilt Chamberlain. The fact that he has never been married, however, is not because he prefers to be a single, swinging playboy bachelor guy; or that he has serious commitment issues.

In truth, he yearns--that's right! He actually yearns!--for a soul mate, one with whom he can settle down, raise a passel of little Fellings, and achieve a transcendent state of domestic Nirvana-ish bliss.

But Jim has yet to find that perfect girl, one who is totally hot AND knows how to properly load a dishwasher. And while Jim has dated a plethora of hotties, none of them possessed adequate dishwasher loading skills and, therefore, had to be dumped. For Jim Felling, aka "The Dishwasher Nazi," not scraping egg yolk off a breakfast....

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2012 Race Registration Updates...

blDid you hope to get into the Northwoods Triathlon this year? We hope not. It's already full.

Yup, for the second straight, consecutive, back-to-back year in a row, the Nevis-based Tri Minnesota Series race has filled faster than its 80+ Minnesota multisport counterparts. Way to go, Northwoods! Guess this means that you'll never advertise on MTN, huh?...

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Random Love...

andyRANDOM LOVE FOR MINNESOTA TRIATHLETES

ANDY SCHIESL is a talented triathlete and a very cool guy with blonde hair and straight teeth. He studied business stuff at the "Harvard of the Southwest." That's right. Arizona State University, where the mantra of its 60,000 tan, sparsely-clad students is "Study! Study! Study!"

Andy, who likes Lady Gaga, Oprah (no kidding!) and Emily (his wife), returned to Tempe last November, where he competed admirably in Ironman Arizona. The result was a personal best 9:35:59. Way to go, dude!

Schiesl's 2011 tri-resume was outstanding, his best season ever. It featured this 3rd career victory at his hometown race, the Lakefront Days Triathlon. His time there was a course record 59:37, which took down the mark that Brett Lovaas (pronounced "Lah-vus," not "Love Ass," as Stephen Bullard insists) set in 2008, by 22 seconds, while lowering his own PR on the Prior Lake course by 1:39. Cool beans.

Other impressive efforts were turned in at TriStar 111 (3rd amateur / 9th overall), and RochesterFest Olympic (9th overall).

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A Sociopath's Perspective...

bikePart III: Race Ethics

By Bonnie Grifter

I believe race ethics play an essential role in a positive racing experience. I am sure we all have had both positive experiences such as when someone accidently takes off out of transition on your bike because you ride a sad little knock off of their speed demon and they leave their bike for you to ride straight to your car and stuff it into the back; as well as negative ones such as when you are exiting the swim in first place but you are so focused on making sure that the guy snapping the expensive race photo gets you from your best side and you go tumbling into a volunteer, losing your position. I wish I could sit down and listen to your bad stories over a cup of coffee. I thrive on the agony of others as it makes me feel peppy about my life....

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