Race Previews

Mullet vs Mullet in Alex...

Thursday, 02 May 2013 01:10

COLT PREVIEW - It's not like we're mad at Angie Hop (photo L), or anything. Sure, she promised to write a story about how Minnesotans did at Leadman Epic-125 - Tempe last month and totally didn't, though she sent us a photo (below) of the notes she made when she was flying home from Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport (Terminal #3).

Though we love Ang to pieces, we believe that she deserves to be punished. That's why we posted the shot of her with a totally real Billy-Ray-Cyrus mullet (L).

And that's why we are not going to pick her to repeat as champion at her hometown race this weekend. The race: The 12th annual Chain of Lakes Triathlon in Alexandria, the one in Minnesota, not the one in Egypt....

We wanted to pick her to win again. In fact, we consider her the fave to do so. But she needs to be punished, so we're picking Jody Mullet, who has a regular haircut, to finish on top of the women's leaderboard. There's good reasons to pick her, too. First, she's 25 and young people improve in big chunks, not little dribbles, which is redundant, isn't it? She placed 3rd in Alex last year, thus getting a two place bump this year is not far-fetched. It's near-fetched.

Next, Jody is from Chaska. You're not allowed to live there unless you're a good triathlete. Just ask Heidi Keller-Miler and Suzie Fox.

And finally, we're not picking Ang because she plans to "Shoot the Minnow" a few times on race eve. What is "Shooting the Minnow," you inquire? It's putting a tiny live fish in your shot of whiskey and gulping it down, hopefully without puking. We suspect that she'll be ralphing tiny fish guts during the bike and run portions of the race.

So, to recap, we're picking Jody Mullet, who has a regular haircut, to win. And Ang Hop to come in 2nd. We also think that Sarah Foley and Moorheadian Marie Moeckel will crack the Top 5.

Also, perennial Grand Master of the Year, Pammy Stevens, will begin her comeback after a year off because she had this thing with her back.

Who will win the men's race? Marcus Stromberg, that's who. Why? 'Cuz he'll be there.

FYI, Marcus, who won the Most Improved award last year, is the race's defending champ and we suspect that, with good weather, he'll break Sam Janicki's 2010 CR (55:11). Marcus only missed it by one second last year.

(We're hoping that Angie will redeem herself by sending us a race report.)