Race Coverage

Banana Hammocks & Dreadmills...

Monday, 12 January 2015 00:10

By Ross Weinzierl

LIFE TIME FITNESS - EAGAN INDOOR TRI - Racing a triathlon, in January, in the Arctic Circle that is Minnesota is not for the faint of heart.  It is as cold as a witches tit, dark as the other side of the moon and is certainly NOT for the weak or meager.  It’s a damn good thing Lifetime decided to host a series of triathlons indoors to give us crazies an opportunity to swim, bike and run without the fear of a frost bitten nipple, or other body parts….

Speaking of other body parts; Speedo’s (aka banana hammocks) were all the rage in wave 1 of the Lifetime Fitness Eagan Indoor triathlon. Myself and the usually dragging behind sidekick, Patrick Parish, took our best shot at injecting a “brief” bit of humor into this typically, very serious, race endeavor.  A bit of pre-race planning, recruiting of other cohorts and a few ‘Merican dollars later, we were diving into the Minnesota indoor triathlon racing scene....

 Come race morning, frigid temperatures, hangovers (maybe that was just me) and a slight bit of anxiousness (cough, Nicole! cough) awaited athletes at the almost empty parking lot in Eagan.  Did you know that at 6am on a Sunday morning, radio stations have alternate programming? Who knew!  Pre race tunes were provided by bible verses, 1970’s rock you have never heard of and the sound of an engine as I had turned off the radio.

I was pumped to get checked in and meet up with the rest of Wave 1.

Patrick and Nicole arrived, assumingly, the previous day and camped out on the couches at Lifetime.  We checked in and proceeded, separately, to get ready for the big hour of racing ahead of us.  With our spin bikes set up, equipment in our lockers ready to for a speedy transition and our speedos locked and loaded, it was time to hit the water for a photo shoot and a quick water warm up.

I made a bold call and attempted to keep up with Patrick from the whistle and believe you me, this was a mistake.

Pat lapped me about 300m in and i didn’t really have a gauge on how fast Nicole, Pete, Christian or Janell were swimming so I took a page from Finding Nemo and just kept swimming.  I took a quick look at the clock after about 450 meters and thought I only had 30 seconds and decided to lay down the hammer…until I realized that the whistle had not blown and I must have been minutes off of the actual time remaining.  Whoops. 

A few high fives after dragging ourselves out of the pool, it was time for a nap and a quick transition to the bike.  

Christian turned out to be the smart one of the group and quickly figured out the optimal ratio of resistance and cadence, leaving most of us in the dust. Some things are more important than winning, like updating Facebook at 120rpm, but I digress. Through all of the shenanigans, Nicole managed to keep her head down and hammer out a sweet bike split

Shortly after the second wave of aspiring athletes rolled into the spin bike room, leaving a hefty gap of bikes behind Pat I and I, well not Pat (I think he had a secret admirer)…Wave 1 was off to T2 and the line of dreadmills that awaited us.

Ready…Set….Go was followed by the vigorous and furious mashing of the INCREASE SPEED button until our desired rate of breathlessness was achieved. I went for a conservative approach since I can count the number of times I have ran in the last 4 months on one hand. Patrick, on the other hand, was floating above the speeding belt and, last I checked, that has GOT to be against the rules. With everyone in the wave running at threshold, conversations were held to a minimum and it was a race to nowhere, against everyone, with no idea how far each had gone. In the end, Patrick’s technique of flying above the machine prevailed for the men and Nicole tapped into her super base of Ironman training to take the Peace Coffee title for the women. I managed to take a selfie while running and I am going to call that a millennial first place trophy.

Everyone finished with a smile on their face, a great number of high-fives were exchanged, new friends were made and we all had a chance to huddle together for a group picture with the help of the fantastic Lifetime Fitness event staff.

Photo Top - L to R (Unknown (sorry L), Dakota, Nicole, Janell, Patrick, Ross and Doug)

Not pictured (Christian Oestreich, Pete and Riley Hagen)

Thank you to the Lifetime Fitness Race director and staff that made this event a hoot-hollerin success!

Thank you to Peace Coffee and Devon Palmer for providing a few pounds of caffeinated beverage starters for the Eagan Champions and a not so random winner.