Race Coverage
Gorilla Pants & Hot Dogs
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Sunday, 08 September 2013 09:22
SQUARE LAKE XIV - Dennis Dane and Heather Lendway repeated as champions at yesterday’s Square Lake Short Course Triathlon. The perennially smiling Dane matched strides with his handsome, Croc-wearing four-year-old son, Ryan, on the final straightway and finished in a time―1:23:33--that was 54 seconds faster than last year. In the 14-year history of the race, only Patrick Parish (1:22:03 in 2010) and Neil Miller (1:22:19 in 2007) have gone faster.
As for Lendway, she performed like the National Champion that she is. She lead everyone out of the water AND off the bike. Her final time –1:27:32―landed her in 3rd place overall and bettered her winning clocking in ’12 by a porcine 10:36. More importantly, it blew away Marnie Walth’s old course record set back in 2007 by a margin of 2:32.
The other guy in the overall Top 3 was Ross Weinzierl, who has mounted four podiums this season. We find it interesting that the flocculent Weinzierl shaves his chest, but not his 
simian-looking legs. As he approached the finish, a female spectator wondered aloud why Ross would race in a pair of mohair pants.
Arguably, the AG performance of the day belonged to 60-year-old Sartellian, Pammy Stevens. She placed 4th overall (!) in 1:49:36, a divisional record by two tons. Pam, a top five finisher at Harvest Du the previous weekend, now owns three course records (45-49, 50-54, 55-59, 60-64) at Square Lake.
A victim of oversleepage, the redonkulously cool Angie Hop arrived at the event too late to race, so she hung out, said funny stuff and helped Sean Pease schlep free grilled hot dogs to participants, volunteers and spectators. Exceeding the RDA for sphincters and rodent hair, Ang hoovered at least three of those yummy tube steaks.
We thought you’d want to know.
