Race Coverage

Jody's "Jihad Chant".......

jenny5th Annual NEW BRI TRI....June 5..S-800m-ish, B-14ish miles, R - 3ish miles

1. Karl Shultz, 40 - 1:06:12........1. Jenny Wilcox - 1:11:02

Near-perfect racing conditions prevailed at this year's New Bri Tri and, predictably, several records were seriously rewritten. Perhaps the most significant of these performances was turned in by Jenny Wilcox, whose 1:11:02 toppled the former women's overall race best by a Hippopotamus-ish 3:21. It was the third CR in four starts for the 2010 Most Improved frontrunner.

jodyThe women's masters record was lowered substantially by the ever-comedic Jody Quesnell (cool "ab" photo), who, incidentally, owned the previous MR, too. Quesnell, in which the "s" is silent (a French deal), popped a 1:15:58, which was almost two full minutes faster than her old divisional CR and good enough to land her in 2nd place overall. Asked why she raced so well, Jody replied, "because I got new laces." Then with a leg-flairing flourish she displayed one of her beloved new ties, revealing that it was put in incorrectly. "And I didn't swear, either!" she added proudly. Apparently, Jody is often mistaken for one who suffers from Tourette Syndrome.

When not swearing like a potty-mouthed banshee, Jody chants. New Bri's bike course goes right by her Roseville home and when riding past, Jody let out with her infamous "Jihad Chant," a sound resembling a freaked-out turkey. Her many "infidel" children, who were spectating from the Quesnell (don't pronounce the "s"!) front lawn, which was in rather desperate need of mowing, returned the chant (much to the horror of her yard-tending neighbor, a snus user wearing a Toby Keith t-shirt), themselves sounding like a gaggle of freaked gobblers.

Another significant record was set by sore-calved Charlie Roach. Worried that he'd be forced to bail after the bike, Charlie was relieved to discover in the early stages of the run that the pain in is leg was only semi-excruciating. The 52-year-old Lakeville resident charged on to post a time of 1:10:05, which trimmed 35 seconds from Greg Taylor's 2006 AG best. Beating a "Taylor-made" record is nothing to snork at.

The event drew approximately 400 participants, several of whom offered some witty post-race commentary:

* Scott Penticoff, after missing a turn which added about 2 1/2 miles to his bike leg, and faux pas that may have cost him the overall victory, was philosophical, saying with a smile and a shrug, "I'm gonna get over this."

tim N* Hat lover Tim Novotny (photo left) left the awards presentation with empty arms, noting that the event didn't provide trophies for his "division," which he claimed to have won. What division was that, Tim? "Men with hats that have brims." Though he is rarely seen sans chapeau, it is interesting that he is hatless in his Facebook photo.

* When asked to describe his New Bri experience, Tom Couillard, ever a wealth of witticism, reported that he ascribes to the Bob Powers' racing method, claiming to have won not once, but twice today: "First, I got to the start. Then I got to the finish."

And by the way, the men's race was won by the ubiquitously smiley Karl Shultz. (Photo R)smile RESULTS

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