FEATURES
Newberry Knives and Sophomoric Movies...
-
Tuesday, 07 February 2012 04:00
Going Off Course - Minneapolis-based veterinarian / medical affairs person / decorated triathlete Gillian Auslander is kinda enigmatic.
How so, you inquire?
How else would you describe a person who can dispassionately perform a Dual Radical Testiclectomy on a bull while eating a meatball marinara sub in the afternoon, then cry at the end of "Marley & Me" later that evening? Those things--de-stoning and animal movie crying--are generally mutually exclusive.
Gillian, pronounced "Gill-ee-un," not "Jill-ee-un," did that once, we think? And that's not the only example of conclusive enigmaticism that defines her. As many of you already know, Ms. Auslander appears very sweet and mild-mannered and you have to get really close to her mouth if you want to hear her speak. She's not a loud-talker. Yet, "Shook Me All Night Long" by scream rockers AC/DC is her favoritest song ever. In fact, she loves hi-decibel screechy singers, like Angus Young and Steven Tyler, who if you read his autobiography you'd know that he did more drugs than Jim Morrison, Amy Winehouse and Keith Richards put together....
The Girl With the Ironman Tattoo....
-
Sunday, 05 February 2012 02:00
By Trent Theroux (for xtri.com)
I'm getting old and crotchety. I read somewhere that there are two types of people in the world - those that come in for bed at 11:00pm and those that are just heading out at 11:00pm. Somewhere in my thirties I passed from the latter to the former without even knowing it. Something else that has passed me by is the body art rave. Growing up, the only people I knew with tattoos were sailors and felons. Popeye and Bluto.
As a teenage busboy, I served a man wearing a muscle shirt sporting a heart-shaped tattoo on his left shoulder. The tattoo covered his entire shoulder and was black against his very red skin. The inscription inside the heart read Danielle & Tommy. Except that Danielle's name was scribbled out (in ink) and replaced with Mindy. I sarcastically told their waitress that I guess ink lasts longer than love. She told me that his first wife died and that I was an idiot. Until now, I've kept me tattoo opinions to myself....
Sleep is a Good Thing...
-
Friday, 03 February 2012 02:00
By Margaret Heffernan (for inc.com)
Arianna Huffington talks often about how the key to her productivity is sleep.
It's a smart suggestion, not least because so many of us still imagine that the more we work, the more productive we are. For over a hundred years or more, this has been deemed nonsense.
The first productivity studies were conducted by Ernst Abbe at the Zeiss lens laboratories in the 1880s. They indicated what every other productivity study has shown since: that, up to around 40 hours a week, we're all pretty productive but, after that, we become less able to deliver reliable, cost-effective work. Why? Because when we get tired, we make mistakes
Chicked? Get Over It!
-
Thursday, 02 February 2012 02:00
By Chuckie V (chuckiev.blogspot.com)
Guys: I'm not sure if you've received the memo concerning "getting chicked," but if the phrase "you got chicked!" (or any variant thereof) is something you've uttered or even thought about before, well, perhaps it is high-time you have...
1. Don't be so small-minded and chauvinistic; women are athletes too.
2. Swim enough and you'll be fully accustomed to being chicked.
3. Run against Chrissie or Caitlin or Mirinda or Melissa and trust me, you'll get chicked.
4. Play tennis against the Williams sisters and you'll be chicked, times two.
5. Ski against Lindsey Vonn and you'll end up chicked, if not in the emergency room....
Amusing Stuff About Minnesota...
-
Saturday, 28 January 2012 02:00
ED. A guy named Doug from Arizona sent us this. It's kinda funny.
Minnesota became the 32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost tribes of Swedes seeking refuge from the searing heat of Wisconsin 's winters.
Minnesota gets it's name from the Sioux Indian word "mah-nee-soo-tah," meaning, "No, really...!!!! They eat fish soaked in lye."
The state song of Minnesota is "Someday the Vikings will... Aw, never mind."
The Mall of America in Bloomington , Minnesota covers 9.5 million square feet and has enough space to hold 185,000 idiot teenagers yapping away on cell phones.
Madison, Minnesota is known as "the lutefisk capital of the world." Avoid this city at all costs....
