FEATURES

Bad 'Stache, Double Shirted, Closed Mouth Chewer..

Sunday, 09 January 2011 04:00

WARNING! There's a really gross picture of a girl playing the "See Food" game on the next page.

Going Off Course - Katie Weaver does not chew with her mouth open. If she did, her boyfriend Mark Evenson would dump her. Sure, she may dabble with open-mouth mastication when Mark's not around, but we suspect that she doesn't. She knows that just one slip in his presence would end an otherwise beautiful relationship.

Triathlete / former ditch digger / bad 'stache grower Mark Evenson is really a totally cool guy in spite of his inflexible position on open mouth chewing. A man of varied eccentricities, Mark almost always wears two shirts at the same time, has a double-pierced left ear, has a 'thing" for demonically possessed defunct cars, is passionate about pug riding (what is that?), worships the articulate matricidal infant Stewie Griffin and lives in a corn field.

Otherwise he's a pretty normal guy....

And he's a great sport, allowing us to tease him in this way. A handsome young man with a great sense of humor, white teeth, a fondness for Cascade hops and burgers with fried eggs on top, Mark would never really dump his beloved Katie for open-mouth chewing. Probably not.

Here's some less embellished stuff about this great guy:

BACKGROUND: