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"Who Am I?"

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By Shyanne McGregor

I thought about just putting up a quote up with this pic but I was inspired my my friend Ginny Cataldi to use my own voice.
So here are my thoughts:
I’ve always thought that my mental toughness was a strength of mine. I still think, in many ways it is but in the week leading into my last race and in those miles of the marathon, I realized that there are parts of my mental game that need improvement.

I had anxiety and lost sleep over the pressure I put on myself to meet my goal. Then I stressed over stressing and losing sleep!

Despite my family, friends and coach Raymond Botelho talking me through this, I couldn’t shake it. Like my friend said, “Nobody cares!” He’s right! It’s just a race! ...


However it ends up, I’m the one who cares and thinks about it the most. My friends and family support me but, win or lose, I’m still the same person to them.

Race morning I was definitely nervous, but I stayed calm and focused as I waited my turn to jump in.

Fast forward to the marathon. It was a struggle from the first step out of T2. Yes, I crashed my bike , but I didn’t break anything. I was still physically able to run. So this is where my mental strength needed to get me through. That’s about the only thing that got me to mile 19 but it wasn’t enough. I felt like I didn’t know who this person who was. Walking?! During a race?!!! Calling it quits when I was so close to finishing?! Who am I?!

Right after the race I had the thought of “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.” “Maybe I don’t have what it takes.” After a day or two those thoughts left my mind and I had a new goal of making sure the next time I race, it will be different.

So, anyway, this is what I’ve been and will continue to work on.

This was long, and I’m being vulnerable. Next time I’ll just use a quote.

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