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"It's the Thought That Counts, Right?"...

Tuesday, 11 December 2018 23:20

Every year at this time the MTN Guys reveal the Christmas gifts they'd like to give to members of Team Minnesota (and other Minnesota multisporters), but can't because they don't have the means to do so.

Let's start with GABY BUNTEN, the 2017 Minnesota Triathlete of the Year, and runner-up for that honor in 2018. Gaby is getting married in the relatively near future to her long-time stud boyfriend, and totally cool guy, Kris Spoth. This makes us very happy. So, we'd like to give Gaby and Kris a new house. We prefer Craftsman-style architecture, though Mid-Century Modern is cool, too, but better suited for warmer climes. We'll make sure that the home has a huge mud room and a finished basement with high ceilings so as to accommodate their treadmills and bike trainers. The space would also have a big closet to store their foam rollers and those big balls that athletes like to roll around on.

But wait, there's more! ...

Gaby deserved to receive a USAT Athlete of the Year honorable mention last year, but was criminally overlooked. This year, based on federation criteria, she totally deserves to WIN the AOY. We have emailed Tim Yount, telling him that his Selection Committee would be a bunch of putzes (okay, we didn't actually call them putzes) if they didn't give Gaby the award.

Wait, there's even more! Every newly-married couple needs to get a bunch of truly unimaginative wedding gifts, usually stuff they already have that they can later re-gift or sell on CraigsList. So, we want to give the couple a crock-pot.

We also visited Gaby's Facebook page and learned that she likes a Canadian post-grunge, alternative metal band called "Theory of a Deadman." We had never heard of them, so we went to the band's website and listened to a few tunes. "Wake Up Call" is awesome! The other songs we listened to were great, too. If they were on tour currently, we'd like to get tickets for Gaby and Kris, but their next tour has not been scheduled yet. It's the thought that counts, right?

What would we like to get for 2018 Female Triathlete of the Year, HANNA GRINAKER? She's a professional dietitian, you know. This means she prefers a plant-based diet for herself and those she serves. So, the logical gift we'd like to get for her, if we could afford to do so, is a farm, one that comes with those things that farmers call "implements," plus lots of horses because we heard in a movie ("The Quiet Man") that horse poop is the best fertilizer ever. 

We'd also like to give Hanna, who like Gaby, is a total sweetheart!, a gift that is more personal. On her Facebook page is a picture of Summer Janicki's monogrammed shoes. We'd like to get HG a pair of personalized shoes.