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More Thoughts That Count...

Tuesday, 20 December 2016 05:10

On Monday, MTN gave imaginary gifts to the men of 2016 Team MInnesota. Today we reveal the gifts we won't be giving to the women of Team Minnesota, but wish we were.

1. Hanna Grinaker - We want to give our favorite Gingersnap an official Elite License that will be activated on August 13, the day after she wins the 2017 USAT Age Group National Championship....

2. Diane Hankee - We asked ourselves: If we were Canadian, like Diane, what would we want for Christmas?" That's easy. We'd want Alanis Morrisette's greatest hits and a case of Whistlepig Straight Rye Whiskey. We hope that Ms. Hankee likes these imaginary gifts. If she doesn't, she can re-gift them back to us.

3. Christina Roberts - On Monday, we gave Christina's boyfriend, Jordan Roby (#9 on men's Team Minnesota), a fictitious trip to Chad. We'll also give Christina a fake ticket, first class, to that western African country. Jordan's seat is in coach.

4. Dani Vsetecka - Because Dani is of Czech heritage (we think?), we want to get her some fine Czech cuisine, like svickova na smetane, which is beef sirloin in cream sauce that is best served with dumplings and cranberries. If Dani prefers vegetarian stuff, we would get her some kabu, which consists of barley and mushrooms, and bryndzove halusky, which is potato dumplings with sheep's milk cheese. A staple in the Czech Republic, this is the national dish of Slovakia, where it also contains bacon.

5. Kortney Haag - For some reason, Kort loves the Chicago Bears and prehistoric animals. We'd love to get her Bears' playoff tickets, but that's not going to happen in the foreseeable future, so we want to get her a komodo dragon. According to Havocscope.com, black market KD's cost about $30,000 plus shipping and handling. Owners of these reptiles need to keep in mind that they are carnivores.

6. Gaby Bunten - Gaby likes gourmet food and Will Ferrell movies, so we want to get her a whole bunch of sushi and several of the most obscure Ferrell flicks, like "Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie," "The Wendell Baker Story" and "Drowning Mona." "Tim and Eric..." cost $3-million to make and earned $233,580 at the box office.(Wikipedia)

7. Erin Hyndman-Farrens - According to Chip and Joanna Gaines ("Fixer Upper," a totally awesome show!) every kitchen can be enhanced with granite countertops. Quartz is nice, too. We want to give Erin new stone countertops.

8. Suzie Fox - Suzie adores kids and dogs. We'd like to give her several of both.

9. Lisa Lendway - Lisa's backyard is basically a farm. She grows lots of nourishing food back there in the warmer months. We'd like to give her a greenhouse, so she can grow veggies and salad stuff in the winter.

10. Bridget McCoy - Our favorite photo of 2016 featured Bridge running with her dog. We want to get her one of those 3-D dog t-shirts. They are so cool!