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Hooked on Reese's & Modern Family....

Sunday, 21 February 2016 00:10

WARNING: Some content may be slighty embellished.

On Friday we posted WADE CRUSER's 2015 tri accomplishments and predicted that he'd have another breakout season in 2016, one that may land him a Most Improved nomination and perhaps even a berth on Team Minnesota. Today, we're going to introduce you to Wade the Guy.

When Wade is not training he is either doing his full-time job--Gas and Electric Meter Maintenance--playing with his dogs, binge-watching Netflix stuff or eating Doritos.

Wade has a pretty girlfriend named Deanna. She has a great smile and looks awesome in her oversized sun glasses. She has a pair of pearl earrings that Wade may or may not have purchased for her...

Wade's beloved dogs are big. One is a Husky named Jake, the other is a German Shepherd named Ellie. They eat a lot and ipso facto, they poop a lot. So these pooping animals don't befoul his yard, he walks them regularly. This allows them to poop on other people's yards. He gives them Milkbones so their breath won't get too stinky. Sometimes, he allows them to lick his face.

Wade and Deanna are hooked on "Modern Family." Deanna thinks Claire is prettier than Gloria. Like most guys, Wade prefers the buxom Gloria, but thinks her teeth are too big. We agree. Both Wade and Deanna believe that Cameron should lose weight.

The couple is also hooked on various Netflix serieses, like "Breaking Bad," the greatest series of all time, and "Better Call Saul," which is a Breaking Bad prequel. They also like the HGTV stuff, preferring "Fixer Upper" to "The Property Brothers," though Deanna thinks that Jonathan is kinda hot. Chip thinks Joanna is kinda hot.

When Wade watches his favorite shows, he loves to gnosh on Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. He likes all kinds of music, especially Country, and looks great in his yellow t-shirt.

At 29, Wade is in the final stages of whippersnapperhood.

ED. We thank Wade and Deanna for allowing us to have some fun at their expense. They're great people and we encourage everyone to say hi the next time they see either one of them.