FEATURES

Beer Miles, Big Chickens & Pumy...

Monday, 03 February 2014 06:10

ED. Some of this stuff may have been slightly embellished.

Going Off Course - Thunder Bay resident Kayla Kjellman used to be Canada's premier junior triathlete, something she'd still be if she hadn't gotten older. And while swim-bike-run is her favorite athletic endeavor, she is nevertheless pursuing a world record in another sport.

That sport: Beer Mile.

In case you don't know this sport, Beer Mile consists of four laps of a regulation track and each circuit is preceded by the chugging of a twelve ounce brewski. How fast can you run a mile? And how fast can you run a mile when you have to stop four times and drink a beer? Cool sport, huh?

Canada is the self-proclaimed Mecca of Beer Mile and it is believed that the Canuck records and the world marks are one and the same. For the dudes, the semi-recognized WR belongs to a guy named Sean Wade from Hamilton, Ontario, who hoovered four Lakeport Honey Lagers en route to a time of 5:40.0. There's a guy in Australia who...

claims to have run a 5:11 while slamming four Foster's oil cans. Nobody in Canada, Kayla included, believes this happened, and neither do we, though it would be awesome if it did.

For the women, the Canadian and suspected WR belongs to a Seanna Robinson, who is also from Hamilton. We think she was pounding Lebatt's along the way. Her time was 6:42.0, the clocking that Kayla hopes to lower someday.

Currently Kayla is running ten miles a day, and slamming pints of a legendary local ale called Skullrock Stout, which is made with six different malts as well as toasted oats. Yummy. During races, though, she intends to dial back to a thin, weak-ass lager, like Coors Light.

The MTN Guys wish Kayla Kjellman well in her pursuit of a Beer Mile world record. You go girl!

When you read Kayla's bio and look at the photos we've posted, you will learn that she is a former cute baby who loves animals, especially the Wild Canadian Chicken, which can grow to over ten feet tall and weight more than half a ton. As a child she asked her parents, as well as Santa Claus, who has a summer home in Canada, the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, for a kitty cat. What she received was so cool that it had to have come from more than one, perhaps all, of these benevolent sources. She received a rare and beautiful Yukon Puma (photo above L) that has cool black spiky tips on its ears.

Kayla adored her puma, but eventually donated it to a zoo in Sudbury because it ate her beloved pet 800-pound Canadian Chicken (photo below). And though it has never been proven, it is believed by some that "Pumy" (yes, that's what Kayla named her) had something to do with the disappearance of several house pets in her neighborhood.

MTN thanks Kayla and her family for allowing us to have a little fictional fun at her expense. We encourage everyone to read her answers to our questionnaire. You'll learn that she loves country music and Sandra Bullock and doesn't cross country ski as well as she's like to. She also likes to dress up like the guy from kiss who has a black star painted over his right eye. She also says words like "oot" and aboot" and spells favorite with a "u." (Favourite)

You'll also learn that she is a downright cool person, one you should not hesitate to introduce yourself to when you see her at the races. Remember, she's Canadian, which means she's innately friendly.

BACKGROUND:

Name?  Kayla Kjellman

Age?  21

Where you live now? Thunder Bay, ON

Where were you born?

 I was born in Thunder Bay as that is where the nearest hospital is that delivers babies ! But I grew up in the country just outside of the small towns of Nipigon and Red Rock which are about an hour east of Thunder Bay.

Education? Where? Degrees?  

I did a year and a half stint at Queen’s University in Kingston. At Queen’s I was majoring in Health Studies. Now I am at Lakehead University in Thunder Bay. I am in my first year of the compressed Registered Nurse ( RN) program in which you do the four year Nursing Degree in three years-Loving it so far.

Occupation?

Student. I also work part-time at a ski/bike/run shop. It’s a one-stop multi-sport store that does a heck of a lot for the endurance community in Thunder Bay and the surrounding area.  Awesome place- so happy to be a part of it. Be sure to check out Fresh Air Experience if are ever in T-Bay!

Former Occupations? (Anything weird or embarrassing here?)

Lifeguarded and taught swimming lessons for many summers at the Nipigon Outdoor Pool. Nothing quite like when the little 4 year olds pull at your bathing suit and you flash the parents. Overall it was a fun experience. My favourite was teaching aquabics class. I got some good life tips and town gossip from those ladies.

Family?

I have a tight-knit  family and am so thankful for that. My little brother, Travis and I both live in Thunder Bay, just not together! He is in his first year of aviation school learning to become a pilot. I am an hour away from my parents house- close enough that I get the occasional homemade meal from my Mom. She’s awesome.

Pets? Names?

 A Calico cat named Patches.  When I was 7, I had asked Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy…everyone for a cat.  The big man pulled through and brought her for Christmas. She is a senior citizen now but still has a lot of spunk.

Tattoos? Other cool mutilations?

Huge scar on my left knee from a bike wipe-out as a kid. I was probably the last kid anyone would have thought would grow up to be racing on a bike. 

Anything you wish you could change about yourself?

Like many triathletes, I totally have that Type A personality. Sometimes I wish I could just chill out a little more.

Pet Peeves?

Big pet peeve is being late. The other is when lights are on and they don’t need to be.

Bad Habits?

Leaving it to the last possible minute to leave to get somewhere. I know, it contradicts my being late pet peeve. But I usually make it on time!

Embarrassing Moments?

Too many to count but this one is a highlight. Before I left for school in Kingston, My Auntie had given me this “Take Back the Night” key chain that had a light on it and was supposed to work as a rape whistle. I put it on my backpack but had no idea how it worked. One day I pulled a little plug out of the keychain when I was digging through my bag in the main cafeteria. It went off like a siren! There were over 200 people staring at me and I had no idea how to turn it off. FYI those things really do work!

FAVORITES:

Movies? Hands down… Miss  Congeniality. Sandra Bullock is kick-ass in that movie.

TV Shows?

-Gilmore Girls

-I haven’t been watching a lot of TV lately but I tune into “Bride Day Friday” on TLC

Musicians/bands?

Really into country music but it doesn’t make for the best pump up jams.        

Songs?

All-time favourite right now is “Springsteen| by Eric Church

Meals?

For a treat, I like a good burger and homemade fries.

Junk Food? 

Hershey Milk Chocolate with Almonds but ONLY from the U.S. They ones from Canada are not even comparable.

Favorite Pizza?

Sven n’ Ole’s in Grand Marais! A staple on the way home from a race trip or a ski day at Lutsen.

Favorite Ice Cream? 

Soft Chocolate Swirl ( the ½ chocolate/ ½ vanilla)

Non-tri hobbies?

I am a “wanna-be” cross country skier. I skate ski and have no technique what-so-ever but I have fun with it.  I also love hanging out at our family camp and being in the lake.  I grew up doing a lot of outdoorsy stuff so if I am outside I’m happy. My dad is an avid hunter, trapper and fisherman. Fishing is fun for me if there is a cooler full of good snacks.

Unique abilities?

No artistic talent here but I must admit I draw good bubble letters. I can also run a solid beer mile.

Dream vacation destination?

My Dad’s family is Finnish which has sparked an interest in travelling to Finland. It is -44 degrees Celsius with the windchil as I am writing this. The dream right now is someplace warm.

Dream Car?

I am currently driving my Mom’s minivan but it’s unreal. I can haul two bikes, a trainer, gear, skis- no problemo. It even has XM radio and a DVD player. At this rate, I will probably drive a van for the rest of my life. But if I could get one of those Subaru Outback’s in the wagon style with 4WD that would be pretty cool.

Anything you’d like to add about yourself? 

I love racing in Minnesota. Looking forward to being back at it this summer!