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Elongated Duodenums & Neil Diamond...

Tuesday, 03 December 2013 06:10

Going Off Course - In the movie, "What About Bob?," the multiphobic Bob Wiley, hilariously portrayed by Bill Murray, was asked by Dr. Leo Marvin, portrayed by Richard Dreyfus, to discuss his (Wiley's) divorce, to which Murray's character replied, "There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't." 

When you think about it, few people are ambivalent about Neil Diamond. They either hate him, or, like Eden Prairie triathlete/mom/IT consultant, Marisa (pronounced "Mare-ree'-sah) Skees,love him more than life itself.

Why does Marisa adore Neil Diamond so dang much? Is it his music? Sure. Her favorite ND tune is "Cracklin' Rosie," which might be a drug metaphor, but we're not sure. She (Rosie) is a "store-bought" woman who makes "me sing like a guitar hummin,'" which suggests that she might be a prostitute. Once again, we're not sure....

Another possibility is that "Cracklin' Rosie" refers to a lonely man's hand. It you study the lyrics, it makes sense.

Marisa probably understands the song and appreciates it for the right reasons. She is, after all, a very, very smart lady.

Perhaps the biggest reason Marisa Skees adores Neil Diamond, though, is that her father looks just like him. And whether or not you like Neil Diamond's music, you must abmit he is a good looking guy. Sure, he used to have really swoopy hair in the 80s, but it wasn't bad enough to totally uglify him. Hey, Marisa's dad could have looked like Neil Young.

Marisa Skees is a richly textured person, one with vairied interests and tastes. She can eat an entire bag of Doritos in just five minutes. She's very pretty and funny and likes goofy hats. Knowing that true beauty is found on the inside, she believes her best physical feature to be her duodenum, which she contends is longer than most. She was born in Mexico, a fact that she robustly celebrates every week on "Taco Tuesdays." She hopes to own coastal property there someday, probably on the Pacific / Sea of Cortez side, where she can lounge on the beach, drink tequila until she passes out, and eat a pile of camarones (Mexican for "shrimp') that is as big as a Volkswagon.

Who could blame her for wanting to do that?

Marisa is one of the coolest and most interesting people that we have ever profiled. Read her bio and see if you don't agree.

BACKGROUND:

Name:  Marisa Ann (Spizzo) Skees

Age: 37

Where you live now: Eden Prairie, MN

Where were you born: Guaymas, Sonora Mexico. No, I am not Mexican, but I do have dual citizenship and will some day buy land on the ocean and move to Mexico.

Education: B.S. in Finance and General Management from Carlson School of Management – University of Minnesota. I had originally wanted to be an Art History Major and study in Europe but my dad said that there way you can make a living on that and ‘securities’ was where I should concentrate my time. I powered my way through all core courses by the time I was 22 despite taking a semester off to backpack Europe and then got to spend an amazing semester learning Spanish in Cuernavaca Mexico before entering the real word.

Occupation: I have been an IT Consultant for 15 years and am currently working at OptumHealth as a Capability Lead. What is that exactly? I am still trying to figure that out. And yes, I can put together a damn good flowchart.

Dream Job if you could do anything you want: Remember Ian Wright from Lonely Planet? I would be a mix between a Globe Trekker and National Geographic Photographer and be known for my amazing photos, witty banter and amusing interactions with locals..

Former Occupations: I started my professional career selling golf balls at the age of 4 on hole 4 of the Traditional Golf Couse at Breezy Point. From there I progressed from picking rocks on the golf courses and local developments to dishwashing, hosting, checking in guests and eventually bartending for one of my dad’s restaurants at his resort.

Family: I am married to the legendary “W” Harvey Skees aka “Coach”. We only knew each other for 38 days before we eloped. We have been married for 12 wonderful years and have 2 beautiful girls ‘Skyler’ (10) and ‘Samantha’ (8)

Pets? We have 3 pups-Gypsee, Dotty and Spike, 2 cats-Fat Toby and Bella Poinsettia (she was our Christmas Cat), and full ‘hunger games’ tank of community fish.

Tattoos? Other cool mutilations: My tailbone is separated from my spine from an incident where I fell down the stairs (I was not drinking at the time ;). I also have a hole in my skull. Yes, this is true.

Best physical feature: My sweet ass Elongated Duodenum.

Anything you wish you could change about yourself: My Minneso- ota passive aggressiveness.

Pet Peeves: The existence of the Post Office and the DMV. I do everything in my power to avoid these places at all costs.

Bad Habits: I only wash laundry without drying it..and then I have to rewash it days later. And according to Harvey, I do not know how to iron or fold pants correctly.

Embarrassing Moments: Most would have been alcohol related but now that I am married to my wonderful husband Harvey the MN DUI GUY, I am much more responsible and risk adverse ;)

FAVORITES:

Movies: Anchor Man, Step Brothers, Elf, Dumb and Dumber, Love Actually, Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal Lecter Trilogy, Shawhank Redemption, Born Identity Trilogy, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Actors/Actresses: Will Ferrell, Jim Carey, Morgan Freeman, Johnny Depp, Tim Robbins, Matt Damon and Russell Crow

TV Shows: Lost, The Blacklist, Breaking Bad, Seinfeld, New Radio, House and Revolution, Saturday Night Live, The Office,

TV Stars: John Stewart, Stephan Colbert, the entire crew of Saturday Night Live

Books: When I do have the chance to read something that isn’t IT or a selection that the kids picked, I choose suspense thrillers or horror/fantasy such as The Pelican Brief, The Lincoln Lawyer, IT, The Stand, Twilight Series (and yes, I am on team Edward)

Authors: Stephen King, John Grisham

Musicians/bands: I have been and continue to be a big fan of Depeche Mode and just recently was introduced to the Depeche Mode cover band from Columbia called (DMK). I also love my Neil Diamond (because I he looks just like my dad), Grateful Dead, The Band, DMB, Gypsy Kings, Martin Zeller, Weezer, Pink and most recently Lorde, Aaron Lewis and anything that will make me run fast.

Songs: Cracklin’ Rosie, Two Step, Warehouse, Some Devil, Blow Me (One Last Kiss), Stupid Boy, Paint It Black, Not Afraid, Adrenaline, and Country Boy.

Restaurants: I really like cooking and eating at home but if I do get a chance to go out, I am heading to Kona or Fujiya for some sushi, Lion’s Tap for a delicious burger and fries.

Meals: We have TACO TUESDAY at our house every week. Hands down, favorite meal of all time.

Junk Food: My neighbor got me addicted to Peanut Butter M&Ms..my crack.

Favorite Crunchy Snack Food? Doritos..I could eat a bag in 5 minutes..why do they make them so good?

Favorite Pizza: I love pizza and could eat it every day. My ultimate favorite pizza still remains the Uptown Thai Chicken - chicken, pineapple, coconut and Sriracha. YUM!

Favorite Ice Cream: It is a tie between Culver’s Turtle Cement Mixer and Ben and Jerry’s: Schweddy Balls. I love balls covered in rum that melt in my mouth..

Favorite Hamburger: Lion’s Tap California Burger. A classic and so good!

Boxers or Tighty Whities: I like my man in a sweet speedo #bananahammock

Favorite Alcoholic Beverages? Tequila or Red Hook Audible Ale or any good IPA.

Non-tri hobbies: I have a ton. Photography, painting, attempting to sew, knit or crochet, dreaming up inventions to submit to Edison Nation or Shark Tank (I have one that I have a working prototype and would still like to get patented), tumbling rocks that I find on the North Shore, attempting to learn my guitar, cross country skiing, mountain biking and camping.

Dream vacation destination: I would love to go back do the full Great Britain, Ireland, Europe backpack tour again and stay in hotels instead of hostels and eat more than baguettes and cheese. Local dream vacation would be to start out in Duluth and take the RV around all of the Great Lakes on a camping/photo/agate hunting and treasure hunting tour..

Dream Car: I don’t know a lot about cars and don’t drool over them but if there is one that stands out above others that would be a Maserati GranTurismo. So fast!

Anything you’d like to add about yourself: I got into Triathlon after Harvey had his second back surgery in 2009. It has changed our lives in such a positive way. I had not run more than 1 mile since highschool up until that point and now I am in the best shape of my life. Harvey swears that I will qualify for Kona before he does..if I actually tried to stick to a training plan. Now that I have to call Harvey “Coach” that may be sooner than I had once thought.

So I guess we shall see where the future brings me!