FEATURES

Jared Smith Will Eat Almost Anything!

Thursday, 17 January 2013 00:10

Going "Off Course" - South Minneapolis triathlete Jared Smith (photo) is a totally cool, fun-loving guy who has been to Mexico and parts his occasionally swoopy hair on the right. Sometimes he wears funky glasses. According to a guy who minored in psychology at a college, people who part their hair on the right are generally cool, fun-loving and adventurous, often visiting exotic locales, like Mexico, and sometimes wear funky glasses. As fun-loving adventurous travelers, right-side-parters will eat just about anything and don't mind washing dishes by hand. When you read Jared's bio, you'll clearly see that he fits this profile.

Jared sent us disturbing pictures of stuff that he likes to eat, only a fraction of which resembled real food.

Another photo (below R) he sent features an array of stuff that he claims to enjoy, but only some of the stuff appears edible. Jared challenged us to correctly name as many of the items as possible. If we could name FOUR of the nine things on the cutting board, Jared said he'd invite us over for dinner.

We declined the dinner offer, but accepted the challenge.

Clockwise from left to right, here are our guesses: 1. A stack of toast-like things with a dead fly on top. 2. Either a little stack of bacon chunks, or fried chimpanzee ears. 3. The little pancakey things are probably slices of dog brain, probably from a Labrador Retriever. 4. The little white bowl seems to be full of little brown kidneys. 5. The leafy-looking stuff are probably real leaves from trees. 6. We recognize the luncheon meat. It's Sphincter Loaf.