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Semi-Heroic Sidekick Guy...

Monday, 19 November 2012 01:10

GOING OFF COURSE - Amiable Apple Valley triathlete Mike Ladendorf claims to be a "regular" guy who sells beer and loves animals and Bruce Willis movies. We have irrefutable proof, however, that there is nothing "regular" about Mr. Ladendorf, if that, in fact, is really his name.

We have uncovered some photographs that clearly prove that "Mike" is a CRIME FIGHTING SIDEKICK! Three such pics are posted in this expose'.

In case the photos don't paint a clear enough picture for you, let us explain our conclusions, starting with the "sidekick" thing.

What do we know about sidekicks? They hang out with a heroic person, and are typically shorter and less heroic than that person. The totally heroic person with a sidekick doesn't have to be a superhero, but it's better if he or she is. If that person is not a superhero, he or she nevertheless has to fight tirelessly against evil and be beloved by those who cherish truth and justice, things that used to be known as "The American Way." ...

Next, the shorter sidekick, like the person whose sides he metaphorically "kicks," must either wear crime-fighter costumes or be a master of disguise. The photos herein totally illustrate this.The pic in which the guys are wearing lederhosen suggests that they had an undercover assignment in the Bavarian Alps. The shot of the guys in lion and tiger duds suggest that the terrific twosome had a crime fighting gig in The Serengeti.

The heroic guy and his shorter semi-heroic sidekick should also have a cool Team Name, like "Batman and Robin" or "The Lone Ranger and Tonto." We can only hope that "Mike," whose wife is too darn hot to be just the spousal unit of a beer salesman, plus she sometimes serves as his "sidekick"--See "Killer Bees" photo; notice that she, in true sidekick fashion, is shorter than he is--and the taller, more-heroic guy have a cool Team Name. (Okay, that sentence was too long.)

boys Though "Mike" tried to keep his true sidekick identity secret, some of the answers on his questionnaire revealed his not-just-a-normal-beer-selling-guy self. One doesn't have to be Sigmund Freud to see that his love of "flamy" tattoos, his restless impatience, his fondness for baldness and Metallica and The Avengers and 1969 Camaros reveal his inner-semi-heroic-crime-fighter.

What else do we know about "Mike" that is kinda weird or cool? Well, we gotta love the fact that audible crunching of snack food drives him, as they say, 'round the bend. He personally avoids eating chips because his own crunching pisses him off. He must be fun to be around at parties, huh?

We thank Mike for subjecting himself to this gentle lampooning. He's a good sport with a great sense of humor. But if you know Mr. Ladendorf, you already know that that's true. You're probably wondering who the taller more heroic guy in the photos is. We don't know either, but he looks like a fun guy to hang out with. We assume that he doesn't eat crunchy snacks around Mike.

BACKGROUND:

Name? Mike Ladendorf

Age? 31

Where you live now? Apple Valley

Where were you born? Edina

Education? Where? Degrees?