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Cryptozoological Matt-aphor...

champCryptozoology...

By Matthew Payne

AG NATIONALS RACE REPORT - Did you know Lake Champlain has a legit lake monster? Yep, sure does. His name is Champ. And he has his own Wikipedia page, several fan sites and is the mascot of my new 2nd favorite minor league baseball team. My favorite minor league baseball team would naturally be the Beloit Snappers. I judge minor league baseball teams purely on the awesomeness of their mascot.

Anyway, I recently headed out to Vermont to search for lake monsters race USAT Age Group Nationals. Since my aunt, uncle and grandmother live in New Hampshire just a couple hours south of Burlington, Tiff and Michael came along as well. Speaking of Mikey, he's a full on walker now...

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Fall Classic Du Stuff...

smile girlFALL CLASSIC DUATHLON VI - In our flawed opinion, there isn't a better duathlon venue in our region than the one used for the Oakdale and Fall Classic Dus, events that sorta bookend Minnesota's multisport season. Oakdale pulls bigger numbers, of course. In May, athletes are itching to get their season's started. Coming after a significant percentage of our state's racing community have paid their last entry fee for the year, Fall Classic traditionally lures 150-200 entrants, a third of Oakdale's usual sign-up.

We've glanced at Saturday's start list and are ready to make some inane predictions.

- At 6'5", Gregg Garretson will be the 2nd tallest finisher.

- Mike Colaizy will be the fastest over-60 guy.

- Jim McDonnell will win the 55-59 AG....

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As Rare as Steak Tartare....

adOne Last Tri VII Preview - This is not actually the final outdoor triathlon on Minnesota's 2012 multisport schedule. MSU-Mankato has it's fall tri coming up, and there may or may not be a race in Mayer, too (Royals Tri). It's name--One Last Tri--is designed to entice those who have either already packed up their gear for the season, or are seriously considering doing so, to get out there one more time.

Last year this race attracted a record 600+ entrants, which caused some parking issues. Good news: those issues have been resolved and parking will not be a problem this time around....

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State Record...

fam(Photo - The Andres Family. Michelle is the girl.)

Ironman Stuff - There is no tri in our region that can match Ironman Wisconsin in the area of Transcendental Magnitudiosity. The vibe is big and buzzy; joyful and celebratory, yet trepidacious; the ether is packed tight with tummy-tickling, bladder-stimulating electricity. And though we didn't attend this year's event, we could sense and feel all that from here in St. Paul. It was like standing in the parking lot at the Super Bowl.

The race is over, but a happy hangover buzz is still palpable. So much inspiration. So much to get, and stay, excited about. This kind of stuff is not intended to be soon forgotten.

The star of the whole dang show, as far as us Minnesotans are concerned, was not the pro winners, though we believe that Liz Lyles' win was the first IM victory of her career, which is totally cool. The brightest star was Michelle Andres, the pretty 35-year-old hockey mom from the Brainerd Lakes area....

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Uncluttered By Facts...

legs(Photo - Angie Schmidt's legs. Ang loves her designer M-Dot flip flops.)

By Al Bumin

Square Lake Halfish IM - We told a guy that we would post a story about the Square Lake Long Course race on Tuesday. Today, to you. But it's Monday afternoon, yesterday to you, and results have not been posted.

We don't know what happened on Sunday, but we promised the guy we would write something. Besides, when has not having correct information ever stopped us before? This will not be a lengthy post. It

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